TO JOANN

I know I sent you an answer to your e-mail. But I wanted to publicly thank you for the wonderful surprise in my mail of the DVD 'Naked Tango'. It had been a worse week than usual and husband bigger ass than usual.

You will NEVER know how much it meant to me that you did this, even being sneaky and getting my snail mail from my daughter.

To the world, Joanne Wolfe is a sweetheart and has reserved special place in heaven for herself.


HUGS

Barbra

AT LEAST I'M ALIVE...REALLY????????

WELL, I DON'T LIKE WHINING ON MY JOURNAL BUT SOMETIMES YOU'VE JUST GOT TO VENT. 2010 AS A YEAR HAS SUCKED AND IS NOT GETTING ANY BETTER.

Let's review--time in Haiti...found out husband who I thought of as my prince harming was fucking someone who was once my best friend--since the beginning of our marriage for twenty years.. He says he ended it while I was in Chili but she still calls his cell and emails him.

House flooded 8 feet of water we were raised six feet so two feet in the house--black sewage water so everything touched was lost...my great grandmother dining room set hand made 200 years no screws.--table chair buffet and china cabinet ,a 100 year old roll top desk. and so on and so forth and I had $100,000 ACV insurance for fire or theft and nothing for flood. Being on 100 year flood plane and not flooding in 200 years and controlled now by a dam I felt confident. how could I know they screwed up so four feet of water swept over the dam and they had to open the gates and release five more to prevent the dam from cracking. ANYWAY

Water down we go in, I fell through the dining room floor an break three disks--I've three more new titanium decorating my spine. Rehab is slow...my daughter's helps a lot.

My hubby got us an apartment with F.E.M.A.'S help that id very nice. He used the money from my and Lauren's vehicles to buy furniture. F.E.M.A gave us a grant of $6400 to replace $000,000 of furniture.

While ripping out the floors the contractor found--wait for it----termites still eating to support beams. Even a flood didn't drown the little bastards they are still eating or were before the contractor had them treated.

LET ME NOTE HERE THAT I WAS UNDER THE IMPRESSION WE HAD TERMITE PROTECTION AND COVERAGE FROM ORKIN, BUT HE QUIT PAYING IT 12 YEARS AGO AND NEVER TOLD ME. I never saw swarms so it is back enough that the main support beam is mostly gone and many of the joists. On a 9000 square foot house that is going to have to be jacked up and new beams put in--well insurance doesn't cover it and the contractor hasn't given us a figure to replace. FUCK.

Personally I sit, unable to walk on my own and am trapped. I refused to go back to the marriage counselor after she put the blame on me for my husband's affair--I should give him whatever he needs whether I enjoy it or not. Basically I told her to go fuck herself. I sometimes sit in the living room with him beside me and I feel the hatred building inside me. I've never hated anyone before, now I have two. Not that he isn't charming at times, but he can be a bastard too. Separated bedrooms and I lock my door at night. My friends and family all tell me he loves me and I should forgive and forget, but how do you forget s 20 year betrayal.

I am depressed taking Cymbalta and Clonzepam. Have Rehab three times a week. Home health nurse once a week. Filed for SS disability--was approved. Will start getting a check in November. $1200 a month. I used to make that or more a week. **sigh**

MADE ME SEE A PSYCHIATRIST. HE SAID WITH MOST NURSES LIKE ME THE CAREGIVER IS NOW HAVING TO BE CARED FOR LED TO LOT OF SUICIDES. Well I admit I have made several plans to do it but it is the cowards way out and I tell myself things happen for a reason. Maybe I should try to fix my marriage and I would never do that to my daughter.

They did just finish putting a new roof on my house. A lighter color to reflect light. Very nice.

You have all been very supportive and understanding. I thank you for that. Love to you all and peace in you life.

This too will pass, I'm told. BREATHE.

They saved many of my DVDs but many were lost. My sexiest VINCENT movies are lost maybe not to be replaced. NAKED TANGO, HOTEL PARADISE AND DESIRE the others I found on Amazon. The biggest problem being they're European made and I had someone bootleg them for me that is no longer possible. You wonder why I am depressed.

BARBRA

And Val thanks for writing me, I just wasn't where I could internet privately, then it was so long and I just could not muster up the energy to write anyone.

CRUISING YOU TUBE FOUND UNDER HENDERSONVILLE FLOOD & LOOSING FOUND a PICTURE OF MY DAUGHTER'S LITTLE TRUCK IN THE DRIVE WAY. Water crested just over her top. ALLSTATE AGENT CAME IN TOTALED HER TRUCK AND MY SEBRING CONVERTIBLE.

MY TEAK PATIO TABLE chairs and TWO CHAISE lounges and a fire pit. Not in the neighborhood probably AT THE base of the dam.

FELL YESTERDAY CRUSHED TWO DISKS NOW SITTING IN WHEELCHAIR. HUSBAND'S TAKEN CHARGE. SENDING ME AND THE BIRD TO MY SISTERS. WITH MUCH ARGUING FROM ME.

I've worked twenty years to surround myself with a home I LOVE and things for comfort. now all gone. No content protection. HAVE FILED DISASTER RELIEF FROM F.E.M.A.

ADJUSTER COMES FOR-HOUSE TOMORROW. WE WILL SEE. TINA COMES FOR ME SUNDAY.

HOPE YOUR LIVES ARE FARING BETTER.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME--I CAN MOVE MY FEET AND THERE'S LITTLE PAIN.

ONE GOOD THING SOLID WOOD CAN BE SANDED AND RE-STAINED.

LOVE TO YOU ALL.MISS ME????

FLOOD WHAT NEXT?????????????????????????

AND THE HITS JUST KEEP ON COMING.

2010 HAS NOT BEEN GOOD TO ME. AFTER THREE DAYS OF HARD RAIN OUR 100 YEAR FLOOD PLAIN, WHICH HAS NOT FLOODED IN 209 YEARS DID,

I GOT UP WENT OUT BACK TO CHECK MY NEW TREES I PLANTED IN POTS FOR ARBOR DAY. THE CREEK AT THE BACK OF OUR PROPERTY ACREAGE, 1 ACRE FROM THE HOUSE WAS RUNNING HIGH, WENT INSIDE TO MAKE TEA. BAM BAM BAM, AT THE DOOR--FIREMAN SAID WE HAD 5 MINUTES TO GET OUT. DAM HAD OVER-FLOODED BY 7 FEET, I HAVE 4 STEPS TO THE PORCH. WATER WAS ON THE PORCH. HUSBAND BARELY GOT HIS BIG GMC TRUCK OUT AND UP THE HILL TWO BLOCKS, WHILE DAUGHTER AND I GRABBED THE BIRD AND STUFFED SOME CLOTHES IN A BAG--SHE REMEMBERED HER COMPUTER. A FIREMAN CARRIED ME THROUGH FOUR FEET OF WATER THROUGH THUNDERING RAIN. THE CUMBERLAND RIVER IN NASHVILLE WENT FROM 25 FEET TO 51 LAST NIGHT. STILL HASN'T CRESTED.

WE HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO GET INTO OUR SUB-DIVISION DUE TO WATER 8 INCHES OVER THE ROAD.

WE'RE AT A HOTEL FOR NOW. FLOOD INSURANCE PAYS 80%. ALL ON REIMBURSEMENT.
WE ARE SCREWED.

ANYWAY THIS COULD TAKE 60 DAYS OR MORE. UNLESS WHERE WE SETTLE HAS WIRELESS I'LL BE OFFLINE TILL THEN, OR NY HOUSE IS GUTTED AND REBUILT.
:SIGH:

I WILL MISS YOUR BLOGS IF NO CONNECTION AT NEW WEEKLY HOTEL.

GOING TO START SALVAGING IN A FEW HOURS. CAN'T SLEEP.

SO IF NOTHING FROM ME FOR A WHILE. I'M ALIVE JUST WITHOUT INTERNET. LET YOU KNOW TOMORROW NIGHT.

I THINK I WAS CURSED BY A HAITIAN VOODOO WOMAN. BEEN ALL DOWNHILL SINCE.

HOME

Home. Tired. Off to catch up on you. Hopefully no more natural disasters in 2010.

Sorry for taking so long to update. Not a lot of time because I have been sleeping better in the lower temps.

Also I thought I had written but can't find where so if this is old news--apologize in advance.

My computer was assaulted when I walked away and left it alone and open By a foot long lizard. Ate my 'C' key and as I returned it turned with my space bar in its mouth. I screamed, it hissed and raised a black hood at me then took off with my key. So I have a rubber dot to push that sometimes works and maybe not.

They are sending a third of our team home--not me. We are moving from the beach tsunami area to a remote mountain village. We've been told there is no internet service available there so I will be completely out of touch. So please if I don't comment for two or three weeks don't worry or un-friend me. I promise to catch up as soon as I have service.

Hope you are all well, and I tell myself I could still be in Haiti--now during the rainy season like the other two trauma teams.

My daughter tells me the news talks of Haiti but not Chile probably because of political reasons. Even the new president resents us.

We have tremors nearly every day. Now major one lately just enough to stop your heart. MAYBE IT'LL BE EASIER IN THE mountains.

Gotta run. Take care of yourselves.

Thinking of you all

B.♥♥♥

FROM CHILE

This may not get out as internet connection is sketchy at best. I have heard myself called a cold-hearted bitch since my attitude is not horrified by what we have in Chile. I can tell you what they don't have. Kids losing limbs with gangrene since it took three weeks to get them. All buildings demolished. Chile has an earthquake building code since we get them nearly everyday. They don't have dump trucks filled with the dead heading to mass graves. It's rough here. Today we move to the coast with the tsunami damages.

I was asked about any problems with my yellow fever vaccine--I had flu-like symptoms fever aching muscles and a hard knot at the injection site that is still there.

No word on how much longer here.

Got bit by a green lizard on my arm. Have to take antibiotics. Try to read your blogs when internet works.

All of you take care. Hope to be home soon. Pray for no serious earthquakes causing another tsunami since we'll be on the coast.

One good thing their bitch of a president doesn't want us here any longer than necessary maybe she'll send us home.



For LOCI Fans--our Bobby does love fire.







And Alex finds him amusing:

Here I am in Santiago, Chile compared to Haiti its a resort. Lots of devastation and injured but big machinery already clearing and building being shored up, One hospital olasped the other is okay. Midnight at home 2 am right now just off shift so 12 hours before I go back sgain.
Thought I'd do triage. But Dr wright discovered I'd been a closer for Dr. Mac and since his has gotten pregnant I have been promoted (so they say)
Portable buildings set up. In surgery 6 hours after set up. Feet hurt.

Had to get the yellow fever booster as mine is up in three months to be safe. Still on the malaria pills for a week then can stop.

Told to watch out for lizards. Lots of lizards that bite not poisonous but can cause bad infections. Snakes. Not so many bugs. There are bugs but you don't breath them. Still mosquito netting to sleep with. Six nurses in my tent. We have guards at our door.

Temp is 53degress 80 during the day.

They are trying to open roads to the coast. Don't know yet if I'll be going there. Depends on Dr.Wright.

Oh we had an 'aftershock' as we debarked.--you call 5.5 aftershock I'll call it earthquake. Like rolling on a small ship in the sea. I just laid on the ground and hoped a fissure didn't open under me.


The president doesn't want us here but shs has no choice she is a bitch,

Flowers and creatures here including big cats, but more out in the mountains; though that's close by.

You're all in my thoughts before I go to sleep.

Take care If you put me in prayers or just good thoughts have it be about no ore aftershocks. Thank you.

So my friends my life goes from worse to unknown. Because I am a member of USA Trauma Unit and we have been called up to go to Chile. I am now waiting at the Detroit airport for my connective flight to San Antonio. Trauma Team 2 & 3 went to Haiti. It doesn't count that I got permission to go with Dr. Msc and DWB For 8 weeks. If I refuse to go I lose my spot. I have been sick with a respiratory viral infection but its about gone. Well enough I passed the physical to go.

Have no idea what am going into. Know there are still strong aftershocks, looting and gangs. We have a military escort but not the one on one that DWB had. They are stricter about work hours--8 on 12 off eight on etc.

Think of me. Won't know what city I'm going to until briefed in San Antonio. My baby who is twenty cried. Husband shrugged. Friends want me to quit but I worked long and hard to get on the best trauma team in the US not giving it up. Anyway may be good thing. Time to think. Conditions will be better than Haiti.

Just please no bugs. Will try to keep in contact but don't worry about me. I will be thinking of all of you.

Hugs to you all.

Barbra♥♥♥

Home

I am safe and sound at home. Glad to be home. This morning my boss' boss called me seems the Attending doctors over trauma had a bit of a tantrum at my treatment for my altruistic work.

He made me an offer to come back I could not refuse including a $2 an hour raise. Several new benefits. Will go in and sign the contract today. Yea me.

I have another week off to 'recuperate'.

On-the home front my daughter is happy to have me home. My husband is turning on the charm and the man oozes it anyway damn him. My problem is I still love him, but still separate bedrooms. I need time. Divorce is out of the question, I am NOT PAYING ALIMONY. The bitch had the nerve to call me and ask me to leave him. I believe my answer was 'Fuck you no wait my husband has been doing that.

Will now work on my internet things. let me know if i have missed your writings or anything in your life . My inquiring mind needs to know.

Missed you all.

BARBRA

GO TEAM USA(sorry my Canadian friends, I must remain true to my country. but I pull for you when the USA IS OUT OF IT.

Shaun White, Apollo Ohno and Evan Lysachek. They're my guys. And my ice dancers Davis & White.

9 NIGHTS TO GO

Nine more nights to go then home to what? Haven't had much time to think about it. Usually just too damn tired.

The injured still keep coming though the clinic. many coming in with illnesses.

The health experts here are worried about a cholera outbreak as we have had several cases already. Had to send two nurses home that weren't vaccinated for it. Less and less staff as the Haitian disaster becomes old news. Plenty of supplies. Just not enough volunteers.

Not doing another stint though. Can't take it.

My day.

Go into work. On my feet 18 hours, at least do get an hour for lunch. Off then to the showers, Salt water to wash, clear to rinse. Spray body with bug spray. Get another nurse to spray back. Must be covered head to toe. Try to sleep. Sometimes can sometimes takes a while and I internet till exhaustion overtakes me. Get up and go eat. Have lost 15 pounds I didn't need to loose. Can see indentations between my ribs. I'd rather it come off my breasts but I never loose it there. My back would appreciate it though. Keep losing I may get down to that "perfect 24 inch" waistline. Which at six feet is too small,

Daughter says they had snow last night again. Its been several years since we have had any snow so we do while I'm out of country. Usually just cold.

Then I try to net again. Right now I am suppose to be sleeping. Am off until tomorrow at 3 am. Its a balmy 84 degrees right now. Dark. Humid. Sound of buzzing bugs outside my mosquito net.

They say violence is breaking out more and more throughout the city. Haven't been around any of that....yet, and I have Nick and he is armed and knows how to use all those weapons he carries on himself. Automatic and knife visible. Plus he tells me his body is a lethal weapon and having seen him in his T-shirt and seen the steel bulges in his arms I believe it.

Smell of death still clings to everything. And the BUGS never go away. No wonder there is so much disease. The whole country needs to be sprayed.

Trying to get to everyone's blog when since I can't sleep and don't like taking sleeping pill but in another hour I will or will be too tired and dangerous in the OR.

No praise, my friends...yeah yeah I am wonderful yada yada yada, send me normal tell me of your day.

Oh, and if you dare to be brave enough to walk around outside without a mask--little tiny black gnats try to fly up your nose. I HATE HATE HATE BUGS.

Barbra♥♥♥

Worked last night. 18 hours on my feet in surgery, And still they come. If you have LiveJournal account my drama for the night is there I don't have the energy to re-write it. The link is on this page. Am awake after four hours of see because so hot. will go back to work at 8 tonight. BUGS BUGS BUGS> I am beginning to develop a phobias to them. Flying crawling hopping inching buzzing. Insert SCREAM LOUD HERE.


Miss reading your blogs will take time now to go since can't sleep if satellite holds up. Hope all of you are well. Only 13 more shifts to go then I am outta here. No amount of money, or begging will keep me. Family already up in arms for my second sign up but I couldn't let Dr. MaC down. He wants me to come to Yemen with him, due to the drought. He is already committed, but I'd end up divorced.


Children are grown. My husband has proven himself unfaithful quite a blow to find it out during all of this. Twenty years OF faithfulness, I feel like a fool. Divorce is out of the question since his parents are in their 80s and bad health. I love his Mom as if she were my own so I am stuck. So not having a good time here and nothing to go back to but broken dreams. Hell I might let one of the doctors talk me into staying or maybe go to Yemen. I just can't seem to care.

But this is my Vincent site not my crying site so sorry, I have to go through and catch up on all the goings on.

Miss you all and love your comments on the home front--normal, I crave normal. Think I'll go see a voodoo priestess. Buy some charms today. Maybe make his penis fall off. Since I won't be using it.

Rain.
Heat.
Tired.
Still smell of death I imagine will linger for years.

Have lost 15 pounds in two weeks, ten I didn't need to lose. Can see the indentation in my ribs. SIGH.

Good news get three days off before starting second two weeks. My marine arranged water transportation to Jamaica a cabana with hot tub and private beach. Hot water and room service and hopefully NO BUGS.

Leaving this afternoon. Back in Haiti on Thursday morning then back to work and then home 19th.

miss you all. Love to you and yours. take care.

B♥♥♥

DAY 17

17 DAYS.

HOT HUMID SOME MISTY RAIN.

bugs.
DEATH

GANGRENE
AMPUTATIONS
LITTLE SLEEP
TERRIBLE FOOD
WHY DID I SIGN UP FOR ANOTHER TWO WEEKS? OH YEAH. DR. MAC. NEEDS ME.

WILL MISS VALENTINES DAY, SIGH.

VISITED THE MASS GRAVES TODAY. WAS HORRIBLE,.

CANT SLEEP FOR HEAT. SURGERY IN AIRLESS BUILDINGS. NO FANS DUE TO BACTERIA SPREAD. THEY'RE WORKING ON ELECTRICITY STRONG ENOUGH FOR AIR CONDITIONING UNITS. FAT CHANCE.

Ocean's beautiful.

A snake in my tent beautiful Rose Python. No poisonous snakes on the island. No large animals. Except crazy men who riot around the UN food distribution trucks knocking children and women and pregnant women down, and even jerking it out of their hands when the soldiers give it to them. They can't follow them home.

Now we are hearing about the slave trade opening to sell children and young girls to US citizens. Shameful.

Still never-ending line of people to the clinic/hospital more always coming. The death dump trucks are full every evening too. Mass graves are an abomination.

Miss YOU ALL. SATELLITE IS IN AND OUT SO CHOPPY ON-LINE.

HUGS TO YOU ALL. COMMENT AND GIVE ME SOME NORMAL--DON'T TELL ME HOW WONDERFUL I AM OR MY SACRIFICE YADA YADA, I'M DOING JOB. TELL ME ABOUT HOW YOU ARE AND GIVE ME NORMAL IN THE COMMENTS. I DON'T HAVE TIME TO SCROLL THE BLOGS. WILL CATCH UP WHEN HOME.

94 DEGREES HERE, 25 AT HOME GOING TO GET 10 INCHES OF SNOW MY DAUGHTER TELLS ME. THAT WILL BRING NASHIVLLE TO A GRINDING HALT. THOSE PEOPLE BARELY HANDLE RAIN.

DAY THREE

Hello my friends.

Was off during the day. About to go in for an 18 hour surgical shift.

Today I couldn't sleep. Too damn hot. Volunteered my marine and myself to drive to the airport and pickup supplies. He's not very happy with me right now. Says I need to rest. But who can rest with so much suffering.

A group went out to the mass grave sites to pray over them. I didn't go. I do not wish to carry that imagine of bodies dumped into a mass grave with me.

We drove and sat at the beach for awhile. Beautiful waters. So much political unrest and corruption. They could have cleaned up the waters, stop dumping human waste there and all sewage and built a resort and made a fortune instead of most of the population living in abject poverty.

I heard one doctor say they are still finding children alive because they are used to going without food and water for days.

They had some beautiful fruit on stands we passed walking today, but we aren't allowed to buy or eat. They are a big health risk for us.

Dr. Mac was out and about this afternoon, too. It's hard to sleep during the day.

He's an ortho GOD. They call him the fixer because he does magic. Especially with backs and I speak from experience.

Here though due to serious infections out of forty patients 15 get amputations. He cuts. I stitch the flap over the bone and muscle and wrap it. Write the orders for care for the other nurses. Mac signs them. The worst is the children. They are so brave. I hate peds. Never work at home. No choice here.

Dr. Mac offered me a permanent spot on his team again. I can't though. I'd have to get a divorce for certain. Or he'd just kill me.

Most assignments are not this bad. This is the worst I've ever done with victims. 9/11 was bad, but in a different way.

Got to get ready for work.

By the way did I mention I hate bugs! ESPECIALLY GIANT FLIES.

♥♥♥

DAY ONE

It's hot 94 degrees and humid.

I have my very own marine, Nick. He never leaves my side. He locks my stuff in his footlocker and I let him use my computer to write home. He gets the battery charged.

I share a tent with two other P.A.s(physicians assistant) and their guards.

I shall not express the horrors here. You don't eon't details.

The President of the country let us in with the US FORCE. People cheered the Americans. The Doctors Without Borders (DWB) had a clinic here that was destroyed. Tents are up and we are reorganizing,

Israel has a good handle on things, but They are all trained in guerrilla warfare. Us weaklings need marine protection.

Bugs so many damn bugs. Ever seen a horsefly--double that and they bite. Another one will lay eggs under your skin. So its long sleeves under scrubs.

We can't go down to the ocean and swim to cool off because the waters are filled with parasites.

I look around. I believe in God, I do. I just think he created man and ran off to some other universe planning to come back in 5000 or so years to check on what we have done.

They say conditions here were abysmal on TV. Guess what? It was before the quake.

Going to try an lay on my cot under my netting to sleep three hours.

I am well, just tired. Take care of yourselves.

I miss my 32 degree weather.

Off to Haiti

Woke this morning to a 240 pound 6'5" male atop me. opened my eyes as he pressed his nose against mine and looked into my eyes. "iF YOU GET HURT OR CATCH SOME FATAL DISEASE. I am going to beat you when you get home.

Very funny. That is his way of saying he loves me, take care of myself and he is proud of me. He has decided he will drive me to San Antonio today so we can have some time together alone with outside interferences before I go. He is concerned because typhoid and cholera have reared their ugly head in Haiti. But my shots are up to date.

I talked to Dr. Mac and now I know why he wanted me. His P.A. (Physicians Asst) refused to go and he needs a closer. That means he operates, I close. I thought I was doing triage--oh well. I still would haven't been able to refuse.

The news reports makes it sound like the U.S. is keeping the doctors and supplies out when the President of Haiti is the one who has refused to let the U.S. drop a military force--afraid of losing power???? So the U.S. wouldn't let anyone in without protection (Except those doctors & nurses from Florida who got in as soon as it happened and have suffered for it. IT has been very dangerous for them--that hasn't been reported.

True the violent looters don't have guns, yet. But I have seen what a machete can do to someone.

When planes set down they were being attacked before the could unload so they sent helicopters and dumped the water and food.

Things finally have gotten so bad now the president of Haiti has changed his tune and is blaming the U.S. for lack of aid.

Looks like I will be going in Tuesday with the Doctors without Borders and their crew along with military support.

Taking sunscreen, lots of bug repellent and long sleeve shirts to protect my arms from bugs along with my scrubs. I will drop a line each day if I can.

No comments please unless you have a question. I just won't have time to read them.

Keep you all close in my heart and hope your lives run smooth while I am gone (and when I am back). Those of you who write, keep writing.

Signed up for two weeks. But if Mac stays so will I.

Love to you all

B♥♥♥

LO:C IFAMILY VALUES BOBBY'S ARIA

DISCLAIMER: ALL BELONGS TO WOLF PRODUCTIONS. NO Monetary GAIN BY ME.

I finally finished Family Values. This is Bobby's aria, I think the best of a lousy season. Bobby manipulating the bad guy.

≡≡is Bobby's dialog...Paul's is noted " "

Dialog precede caps:

Lots of Bobby--Enjoy

LOCI LOCI LOCI LOCI LOCI LOCI LOCI LOCI LOCI LOCI LOCI LOCI LOCI

SCENE 32......INSIDE FARMHOUSE

Paul, "I believe by law I'm entitled to a book of scripture."


≡≡Oh yeah?


≡≡And what chapter would you use to comfort you?



Paul, "Uh... several in pain I feel at not being able to take my own
life."


≡≡Stand here.






≡≡That's funny. I don't remember there being a scripture that,


≡≡......endorses suicide.



Paul, "Interpretation comes only through absolute faith."


≡≡Such assurance.


≡≡Even Abraham had moments of doubt.



Paul, "He raised a knife over his son as God commanded.


≡That's when...God saw Abraham's...agony and he stopped him.


≡≡You......you used...a hammer


≡≡...a knife...a gun...a bomb,,,


≡≡nothing stopped you.



Paul, "God's will was clear.


≡≡Clear?


≡≡God was merciful with Abraham's son,


≡≡but showed no mercy in your case.



Paul, "I don't question the voice of God."


≡≡Why is Kathy still alive.


≡≡when all the others were sacrificed?



Paul, "You don't know that she's alive."













≡≡Now I do.



Paul, "It's so obvious what you're doing. I won't hear anymore of
this."


≡≡God commanded Abraham to show his devotion by killing his only son


≡≡who he loved most,


≡≡But the one you loved most is still alive.


≡≡What did God say? "Kill all the others......"


≡≡"spare her"?



Paul, "You won't trick me."


≡≡You're already tricked.


≡≡AND...


≡≡Deceived.





≡≡Kathy's sweetness...


≡≡You know the glow in her eyes...


≡≡Soft young flesh...that warmth you feel when you hold her tight.


≡≡You know, that voice that speaks those words is that the same voice
that told you to spare her life?



Paul, "I won't hear this."


≡≡You know in your heart that......


≡≡that's not God's voice.


≡≡That's the trickster.


≡≡The tempter...the master of all deception.


≡≡You know who I am talkin' about, Paul.


≡≡You know what his name is...



Paul, "What?"


≡≡I'm sayin' you don't serve God, you serve him.


≡≡Say his name......come on say it......Does it terrify you?



Paul, "ENOUGH! I am the shepherd who leads them to the eternal
waters."


≡≡You deliver death.


≡≡You serve the deceiver.



Paul, "NO! I saw her on that stage and he commanded me."


≡≡The deceiver sees your desire.


≡≡He commands you.





Paul, "Don't say such filth."


≡≡Okay. A drama school teacher?


≡≡Did she ever touch your daughter?


≡≡Did she ever want to touch your daughter?



Paul, "She's dead. I ended all of them."


≡≡Why is that?


≡≡Is that because when you saw her on stage you were aroused?


≡≡You felt that vileness inside you.


≡≡You were aroused by your daughter so everyone is aroused.


≡≡You see the tempter sees that in you, he seized on your weakness.


≡≡And you obeyed him.


≡≡Just say his name.


≡≡Say his name, Paul.




≡≡SAY IT!


≡≡SAY HIS NAME!


≡≡COME HERE!


≡≡Whose servant are you?


≡≡If there is a God...



Paul, "There is a God and I acted on his will alone."


≡≡If you are God's servant,



≡≡then how can you kill the people that you love?



Paul, "My faith passed down from generations of those who have
served God, will not be undone by you."


Bobby pauses...takes a deep breath.





≡≡Passed down by them.


≡≡Your Dutch ancestors.


≡≡And this?



Paul, "A stone-rubbing of the gravestone of my great-great-grandfather."


≡≡Yes, stone-rubbing; Cathy made this one.


≡≡She told me about it.



Paul, "What?"


≡≡Yeah......you taught her family history.


≡≡Showed her how to make stone-rubbings of the family graves.


≡≡In fact, she told me about it today.



Paul, "That's impossible. She's told you nothing.


≡≡How could I know?


≡≡When we were with her and her hands were bound behind her...


≡≡she drew in the dirt a coffin and a cross. She meant a cemetery.


≡≡And she took a stone and she pushed it against a boulder.


≡≡She made a mark


≡≡A stone rubbing......See.


≡≡She was calling out to us. See she wants to live.


≡≡God wants her...to live.



Paul, "She wants to be with me."


≡≡She can't be with you!


≡≡She serves God.


≡≡Are you still blind to God's will? Don't you see what's happening?


≡≡Can't you see?


≡≡It's just like with Abraham...


≡≡You see God......stopped Abraham from killing his son...


≡≡That's what's happening right now.


≡≡It's God's hand...stopping you...


≡≡Kathy prayed to God and God answered.


≡≡Don't you want to serve God?



Paul, "Uh, um...yes, I only want to serve God.


≡≡So then tell me where she is, Paul, while there's still time.


≡≡Tell me,Paul. Help God answer Kathy's prayers.





Paul, "Uh...I see at I...I have served evil.


≡≡Break that servitude and put your God before all others.


≡≡tell me where Kathy is.



Paul sobbing, "Morrelltown.