AS REPORTED BY OUR CORRESPONDENT LADYJUDITYANNE ON LJ--THIS MAY BE THE ONLY TIME MEN WiLL LIE ABOUT THEIR SIZE.
To all male taxpayers.
The only thing inland revenue has not taxed is your "WILLIE". This is due to the fact that half the time it is hanging around unemployed, 30% of the time it is pissed off, 20% of the time it is hard up and 10% of the time it is employed but operates in total darkness. Furthermore, it has two dependents and they are both nuts.
Accordingly after 1st May your "WILLIE" will be taxed on its size using the "WILLIE CHECKER SCALE" below;
10-12 inches=luxury tax £50.00
8-10 inches=pole tax £35.00
6-7 inches= privilege tax £15.00
4-5 inches=disability tax £5.00
n.b anyone under 4 inches is eligible for a refund.
Males should not apply for exemption if in excess of 12 inches, they should file under capital gains or join a bloody circus!!
Ivor Dangler H.M Inspector of Taxes.
P.S. Next year, the width tax.
Somehow I can't see this catching on in the US since the country's mostly run by MEN.