Saturday, April 11, 2009


Title: COMPLAINTS-Sexual Harassment
Fandom: Criminal Intent
Characters: The Squadroom
Word Count: 657
Rating: M+ (Language and sexual situations)


O’Malley’s was a cop bar two blocks from 1PP. It was now six p.m. and the largest table in the place was surrounded by the elite detectives of that department along with it’s Captain and his lady friend Liz Rodgers, the Manhattan coroner.

Moist napkins, half empty glasses and three pitchers of beer--light, dark and lite littered the table. Logan leaned his chair back on two legs, “Who the hell complained, anyhow?”

All eyes turned to Captain Danny Ross, “Don’t look at me, I would’ve just talked to him. I’ve got to go to the damn Sexual Harassment Seminar just like the rest of you.”

“Bet it was that prissy new ADA went to the Chief of D’s.” Murmurs of agreement followed that pronouncement.

“Well,” Carolyn piped in, “Officer Black DID have a copy of Playboy.”

Bobby sat forward, “Jesus Caro, the kids’ twenty-two and still wet behind the ears. It‘s not like he was showin‘ it to anyone”

“Yeah,” piped in one of the older detectives, “stuck guarding that holding cell all day and most the time it’s empty. That‘s probably the closest the kid’s come to a prime set of breas .."ts and and pubic hair in the shape of a exclamation point.the detective trailed off at the set look on the three women at the table.

Ross dropped his head to his chest, "Jesus."

Lix slammed her glass down,"Ar you Really that stupid?"

“Yeah, lock up...not a job much more boring than that,” Bobby changed to topic, and poured dark beer with a perfect white foamy head then filled Alex’s with lite.

She glared at the glass then at each man at the table in turn, “Well, how would you like it if WE brought a porno magazine to work with hung naked male models. Passed it around. Looked at the centerfold then looked at you, then at the centerfold with the ten-inch cock then at you. Wouldn't you feel degraded, find it demeaning?” She finished pointing a finger at Bobby expecting him to fall in line.

He rubbed a couple of long fingers across his lips, glanced around the table, and looked her straight in the eyes, “Maybe these guys,"“he rotated a finger without moving his hand encompassing the table, “but not personally. Me, I’d just see it as a another career opportunity.”

The men all sniggered. Alex turned bright red, “GODDAMN you, Bobby.” She shoved her chair back and stormed off to the restroom with Carolyn and Liz close behind.

“Guess I’ll be going home tonight,” Danny sighed. He knew that particular look on his woman’s face.

“Don’t envy you riding with Alex the rest of the week,” Logan offering Bobby his condolences.

“Jesus,'re taking your life in your hands. Alex is just MEAN and scary when she gets like that,” offered another.

“She asked for it. Set me up. Expected me to roll over like a good doggy.”

Logan groused, “Fucking sexual harassment. You can‘t even say ‘Hey your hair looks nice‘ without someone twisting it into ‘How 'bout a blow job'.”

Ross waved to the waitress for another round of pitchers, “Goren, just don’t come crying to me when she flays your hide.”

“She’ll get over it. She always does. Hell, she knows we‘re right. Anyway the women don‘t even have to go to it.”

“Yeah and Carolyn harasses me all the time.”

“Different kind of harassment, Logan.”

“She’ll get over it...” Bobby mumbled with a little less confidence.

“Forever the optimist, Goren.”

Logan seeing the three still if possible even more furious faces returning from across the room nudged Bobby and pointed, “Maybe Ross’ll let YOU guard the holding cell the rest of the week.”

“Don’t hold our breath, Goren. One of those tigers is mine and I’m the one gonna get mauled tonight.


val said...

Bobby can harass me sexually any time he likes...

I wish!

fuzzytweetie said...

Love it! I'm in line right behind val.....:0)